


Price of Betrayal

by MorrisSoler



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Anime, F/M, Feudal Fairytale, Feudal Japan, Kagome - Freeform, Kagome Higurashi - Freeform, Love Triangle, Mystery, Romance, Sengoku Jidai, Sesshomaru - Freeform, Sesskag - Freeform, Yôkai, demon, inuyasha - Freeform, sesshoumaru - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6281113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorrisSoler/pseuds/MorrisSoler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sesshomaru started to care for Kagome like her big brother, none of them two thought it could lead to something romantic. But Kagome was born for Inuyasha; their fingers were tied by the Red String of Fate. It's a love Sesshomaru had to fight for, for over 500 years. In modern-day Japan, would he finally make it? (ON TEMPORARY HIATUS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Price of Betrayal, an InuYasha: The Final Act post-canon story. (picking up from where the series ended. I tried to be as canon as possible, though I added some elements)
> 
> Written in different POV's. The first one that we have here is Sesshomaru's.
> 
> (update: May 26 2016, new chapters coming soon.)

(I own this image, if you want to use it, ask for my permission through PM)

* * *

**Price of Betrayal**

_A Gothic Romance_

Kagome and Inuyasha were born for each other; their fingers were tied to each other by the Red String of Fate. It was told that the string may stretch and tangle, but it will never break. And perhaps, that was why when Kagome and Sesshomaru had found themselves in each other's arms, fate kept on separating them. Over 500 years later, Sesshomaru would discover something. But, how about the Red String of Fate? How would they fight for their hearts' right to choose?

* * *

**Prologue**

I've been here thousands of times before.

 _That_ isn't even a slight exaggeration on my part. As for my hundreds of years of existence, I found myself visiting this place pretty often, in fact, almost everyday…

Yet it's been a few decades since I last did, realizing it was all in vain.

And now, as my slow footsteps drag along, the painful feelings this place has never failed to bring me, are coming back to me, consuming me… taking me back to those memories—those ever vivid memories.

This is the feeling that has kept me from coming to this place any further, that torturing pain in every bit of my flesh; that pain I had lived with during those darkened long years of my life—500 years of eternal melancholy and torment. Regrets, if I may say.

My impassive eyes were instantly drawn to that spot that I will always recognize—my lonely sakura tree, no matter how much of it has changed through the centuries.

With every small, almost hesitant step towards it, I am longing to hear the scrunching of grass and earth beneath my shoes. Now it is nothing but asphalt ground that hurts my eyes.

I mentally growled at it. _The forest was gone_ ; there are just concrete structures right in front of me. And to say that I feel a boiling rage deep within my soul, for humans have altered the very place that connects me to those memories—is an understatement.

My breathing is slow and heavy, never taking my eyes off the fluttering dry leaves as they settle gracefully on the ground. Then I stop just right in front of my lonely tree… lifting my gaze so I could see the filtered rays of sunlight between its dry leaves.

I closed my eyes and let the wind blow gently against me, cooling the heat of the sun, as I filled myself of the memories of that distant past. Oh, how it still feels the same when I close my eyes, as if the forest was never gone, as if it were just yesterday…

And as I let this place take me back to that time, I began to hear the slow footsteps from a distance—the crunching of grass and earth.

A smart pain pierced through my chest; my eyes snapped open, pulling me back to what is now my reality much to my dismay—there are no footsteps… _memories_ , they were nothing but memories.

So then I sat down on the patch of grass surrounding my lonely tree. The searing pain called again as I reflected those memories.

Once more, I closed my eyes and let myself focus on the faint rustling of dry leaves. The footfalls started again, how nostalgic it feels to hear Kagome drawing closer to where I am. But I know why the pain is just too much each time the sounds play back in my ears; for I know, no matter how close those footsteps may sound—she will never reach me.

 _Kagome was gone_ , and I was left with nothing but the remnants of that past inside my head. My chest tightened as I tamed the pains. But I guess, I am ready to be with her in those memories once more... Our memories, my only connection to her...

I leaned my head against the bark of my old tree, my eyes still closed as I let the past flood in my mind, as I let this tree travel with me...

_...500 years back in time._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let's follow as Sesshomaru recalls how it all started between him and Kagome. Move on to the next page.
> 
> Reviews are welcome. I am thick-skinned anyway(lol). You might find the next chapter wordy, but I found it necessary. (Good vibes!)


	2. Bloodstained Sakura Blossoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will be a little too detailed. Sorry.

 

 

 

> "It's not his fault that he's half-human, half-demon. And there's really nothing wrong with that." — _Kagome Higurashi_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Bloodstained Sakura Blossoms"

_I could still remember every bit of that past clearly, as it has never left my thoughts throughout the centuries. There was never a day that I don't think about what could I have done differently, or what I would do then if I were the person I am today._

_It all started beneath this old sakura tree. It was a beautiful day during the season of sakura blossoms. In fact, as I think about it now, I think it was the most beautiful day in spring that I could remember throughout my over 700 years._

* * *

  _*over 500 years ago*_

How much time had passed, I didn't know. Everything was dark… it hurt to move, it hurt to even breathe. The faint images of that previous night kept flashing in my head… but the chirping of the birds around was telling me it was long over.

I began to feel a gentle warmth against my skin. Now I could make out the light penetrating my closed eyelids. _Morning… it's now morning._ And as my eyes were sealed from the glaring rays of the rising sun, I remembered how my feet had brought me in this clearing, beneath this sakura tree. Yes, it's a sakura… it wasn't very obvious to me the previous night, but now, the scent of its blossoms had become more apparent.

Most of the forest were still awakening from that harsh winter, the chill in the air had lingered. The musty scent from the previous rainy evening was still in the air, mixed with the scent of my blood still oozing out from my wounds. Throughout the night, at times, I felt delirious—running that duel in my head over and over; reveling in the fact that it had given me a fight of a lifetime… something quite close to what I had been questing for.

Quite close… My hand closed tight into a fist. It was a foe of my father, an ancient daiyoukai… yet no one could ever come close to my old man. It would always remain a frustration for me.

Then my mind began to cloud again; the crippling pains were returning. I held my breath and restrained my moans. But… am I not alone? I could make use of some gasp. No one would see, no one would hear. It's not weakness… they were the pains of victory. But then, it grew steadily, until the pains were no longer just incapacitating… they started to assault every bit of my flesh, as if the battle itself wasn't over… until the dark became darker… the birds retired from chirping… the air stopped blowing…

_It was awfully quiet._

Until after a long time, soft touches became more and more distinct from the searing pains. There's this scent that wasn't supposed to be there. I felt rage surging rapidly through my veins. My eyes immediately snapped open. I grabbed it by the neck and arm. I growled. I pushed it forward and pinned it down on the ground.

 _Na...nani?_ A set of frightened eyes had stunned me, for they were of someone I know, and the least I could expect it to be. My grip on her neck slightly eased. The glower on my features almost faded away upon recognizing her, but then I glared at her again instantly. And as soon as I did, incapacitating pains had restrained me. Damn it. My eyes had to shut as I held back a gasp.

A touch so tender cradled and warmed my face. "Are you alright?" Her voice was filled with nervousness.

I opened my eyes and hissed at her. Yet instead of fright, she looked at me with complete understanding. As if she could see my agony through my eyes, and she wasn't holding it against me.

My glare faded away as I continued to stare at her. And as her thumb was gently stroking my cheek, her eyes were talking...taking me to her soul. That was when I understood that for this frail mass of a human flesh, I was of great importance. And for one moment, I was so sure she was the same for me. Slowly, I found my hands withdrawing from her neck and arm, supporting my weight as I rested them flat on the grass.

Confusion started to consume me as her dark brown irises were reflecting me so clearly—it was as though seeing myself in a complete strange way… a glimpse of something beyond my understanding, beyond this time.

She continued to stare at me in the same manner, nervously searching my eyes as her human heart was beating so loud. Until her eyes moved down to my nose then trailed down my lips. She swallowed and blinked.

It seemed my eyes did the same. My gaze fell on her parted lips, as she was breathing through it. I took a deep breath, taking a dose of her peculiar scent. Time slowed down beneath the cloak of my long hair, keeping that moment away from the prying eyes of the forest surrounding us.

Then the leaves of the forest rustled as the soft wind passed by, sweeping the meadow… distracting us. I frowned and narrowed my eyes at her. My jaws clenched. Such lowly being did not deserve this much heed from me.

So then I pulled away disgustedly, and immediately, a very sharp pain followed.

It forced me to shrink and lean myself back against the trunk of the sakura tree. "What do you think are you doing?" I managed to speak without sounding wretched. She sat back up and hurriedly knelt back in front of me.

She immediately took my arm. I growled at her and clasped on her wrist to stop her. But she stared back at me with such defiance, pulling her arm back, "I am not your enemy."

My eyes squinted at her, greatly intrigued of where her boldness to defy me was coming from. "I don't need your annoying presence here, human," I said impassively.

Our eyes were locked at each other for a while, both trying to insist our stance. Until her impression softened… Taking a deep breath, she held my hand and pressed on it gently. Such an unfamiliar touch made me feel uneasy under her stares.

Seeing my submission, she removed my grip on her arm gently. She did so without meeting any resistance. It dazed me how she was able to do that.

I redeemed myself and scoffed it silently as I pulled my eyes away, gritting my teeth. "Stupid," I bit out, still trying to keep my pains from surfacing.

I peeked at her again from the tip of my nose, and saw how she paused briefly and looked at me upon hearing my remark. I looked away irritatedly, though satisfied. But then, she resumed what she was doing without saying a word back.

My wounds would've healed by themselves without her help, and at that time, I just couldn't help myself but resent how she was making me feel as if I was some weak human, vulnerable to pain. It caused my hand to close tight into a fist. She noticed it. "You must keep still or you'll open your wounds again," she spoke quietly, not even looking at me as she was finishing my wounds.

Furious, I turned my head and glared at her, "Leave me alone and I'll spare your life."

She lifted her eyes and stared back at me. But like before, she took a deep breath and exhaled it as she set her gaze back on sewing my arm.

My eyes narrowed, trying to read her thoughts through her movements.

"Don't mistake me for what you can see. I could kill you anytime." I paused and waited, but no reaction from her. "You must have forgotten who I am," I said through my teeth, still hiding my pain.

"I wished you could forget who you are so I could finish," she said silently, still not turning her head to me. It took me a moment before I understood its sarcasm clearly. My jaws clenched, and I could feel that I was about to erupt out of so much fury.

"Leave."

She pulled the needle out from my skin for the one final stitch, then she severed the thread. I waited. But again, no reaction.

"I said leave." I whisked her hand away.

She raised her head to meet my eyes. We stared at each other for a while and I could see a slight display of annoyance on her face.

Then she looked away. Grabbed a tin box. Pulled out a roll of bandage. It enraged me even more, so I tossed her hand away so hard that it left a red impression on her skin. The bandage got thrown away.

She gasped as she followed it with her eyes. Then she took a deep breath... pursing her lips, she quickly set a glare back at me, "Osuwa-" but she stopped, as if realizing she wasn't supposed to say it. She was panting... until her rage faded.

Suddenly, her face became filled with hurt, and it baffled me to no end. I kept my eyes at her, frowning, until I could no longer take the discomfort her pain was making me feel.

"I said I don't need your help..." I uttered meekly as I leaned myself back against the tree, facing the other way so as to avoid this tortured look on her face.

She moved to pick up the gauze and began binding my arm in no time. I closed my eyes to keep the pains from appearing on my face. I believed she had already done the same thing for the wounds on my chest and abdomen, and I could feel that they started to bleed again. She noticed it, and immediately tended to them. "I told you not to move. Now I have to do this all over…"

"No one said you needed to do anything. Just leave me alone."

The movements of her hands slowed down after hearing that from me. "Stop telling me what to do," she said fiercely. My eyes snapped open when I heard that. "You can't tell me to leave you when I know you are in that condition."

I pursed my lips and cocked my head further to my side, away from her. "What condition? I am not even remotely helpless as to warrant your help," my brows knitted.

"I know. But just keep your mouth shut and let me finish with this."

I clenched my jaws. It seemed that mouth would never fail to anger me.

The soft wind blew again, as if the nature's attempt to ease my animosity towards her. I stared at the shadow of the sakura tree against the ground and realized that it was already afternoon. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, still keeping my head away from her.

It took the grasshopper nearby three chirrups before she gave me an answer. "Why not?" The preciseness, but inadequacy of her answer caused me to roll my eyes discreetly.

A girl who ran into a fallen warrior, one she couldn't leave behind for her conscience would trouble her on her way home. I scorned it. A common tale of humans' self-gratification.

"You just wanted to feel better about yourself," the words escaped my mouth. I wasn't intending to say what I was thinking, yet I didn't regret that I did either.

She paused; she straightened her back and fixed a piercing stare on me. I could feel her pain, and it puzzled me why I felt like taking back my words just so she'd keep from looking at me this way. "You called me stupid…" she began to utter silently, "... you threatened to kill me… you asked me to leave over and over…" she said. It struck me... slowly, I turned my head back at her, and saw the hurt in her eyes.

"...but I'm still here. Do you really think I am doing this to feel good about myself?" I stared back at her, completely baffled and absorbed by her words. I held my breath as I tried to understand every bit of it.

"Well, Onii-san… _you_ are stupid."

The aristocrat in me couldn't believe what I just heard.

She turned away and grabbed her tin box again, pulled it closer. I was left startled as I followed her hands with my eyes. She untied her hair and leaned over to me. I had no time to react until I felt her hands gathering my hair. Her sleeves were hanging loose, brushing my shoulders slightly.

When she pulled away, I wondered for what it was. I saw her grabbing some more bandages, then I understood. She paused and stared at me briefly, as if asking. I stared back like a scolded child but showed no objection. That was when she began wrapping the bandage around my torso.

Her face would slightly brush the side of mine each time she'd bend over to reach for my back and fetch the gauze. My eyes were just watching her as she was doing all that, judging how stupid could she be to presume I needed all these. But her touch was tender and warm, that even in as much as I resented her human hands, I sat still and allowed it.

I swallowed and thinned my lips. Looking at her now aggravated this strange feeling inside me. Is this guilt? Every movement of her was telling me of how wrong I was. She cared for me. It didn't matter, but I was greatly moved to just keep my mouth shut.

In a while, she's done. And strangely, it felt too soon. I followed her hand as she reached for her basket. By then I realized that she had to run back to the village to get it upon seeing me. There was no way she'd be carrying it around here; this forest wasn't a place to gather herbs. She pulled out what seemed to me as a ball of cotton, then she poured something on it. It was almost the color of dried blood, but brighter.

"You didn't have to scare me away. There's not a need to appear fearsome either," she spoke quietly, almost just to herself. Then she started treating my minor wounds. "I knew these would heal soon. But they do hurt now, don't they? This will lessen the pain. You do not always need to endure it if there's a way to make it feel better."

This stupid human girl. I scoffed. But the words calmed my animosity in a way, though I was hating how concerned she was as if these wounds meant anything to me. I turned my head away from her, "You are just wasting your sentiments," I said.

We were reduced into a long silence. Until I began wondering what had brought her in this forest in the first place. But later, I found myself asking something else. "Why did you come back?" I asked, considering the years that passed when my brother used to wear a defeated look on his face during her absence. I was curious. Though why, I was unsure… for I never really cared about this girl.

She paused and stared at me. And once she got what I was implying, she opened her mouth to answer but resolved to just sigh and look elsewhere. It was as if she had decided it was a nonsense inquiry. Damn it. She was more annoying when her mouth was kept shut.

I had been making a lot of noise, I guess. I kept my eyes elsewhere and just listened to her movements. The birds were chirping in a relaxing melody.

Soon, I began to appreciate the simplicity of that moment. Everything was so peaceful as the soft wind would slightly whirl around. Leaves were rustling softly… "I love him," she said quietly. My face slightly cringed, realizing it was her answer to my question.

I paid a great deal of attention to her hands, even to her occasional sighs, and I could tell just how much pain it had caused her to confide to me that one simple statement. I ran the words over and over in my head as I continued to pay attention to her gentle hands. The tenderness of her touch was like the extension of those words, but I could not completely make any sense out of it.

I closed my eyes and convinced myself that I should not concern myself with such things. As time passed beneath this sakura tree, her touches became more confident that she would from time to time rest her palm against my chest. And I thought, probably, she supposed I had fallen asleep.

When she finished, she placed her soft hand on my cheeks, the exact way she did earlier. It fired up my skin. Brushing off my bangs, she traced my markings with her fingertips... It was so timid..there was nervousness, but I could feel her fascination. A sigh passed her lips. Then she began to stroke my cheek affectionately with the back of her fingers; I saw it, peeking through the slit opening of my eyelids.

 _What are you thinking?_ I wanted to ask, but I feigned unconsciousness for a little bit longer.

She was able to break the wall between us by just defying me this way. And maybe, for her there was not such a wall—I wasn't a demon who was supposed to be strong; she was not a human who was supposed to feel fear... I could rest the strong me, with her eyes only looking at me with complete understanding. And it seemed in this moment, I liked the mere idea of it.

I was allowed to forget the darkness who I was, and just lie here, in her care. Without feeling ashamed.

It filled me with amusement...a warmth that was stroking my immortal heart. And for the first time, I liked the feeling of being so close to someone else.

When I felt her pulling away, I discreetly opened my eyes and looked back at her. I saw her gathering my things. She glanced at me, and I saw how she tried to look unsurprised. "Your swords are here. And your haori." She placed them right beside me. My broken breastplate was not mentioned but it was there, looking unmarred compared to how it was when my feet had brought me in this clearing.

Then our eyes met.

I could not recall us ever being locked into each other's gaze for that long. She was asking me something unspoken, and it was as if my face was giving the answers away.

Something was hard not to notice with this human girl as we held our gaze. Her aura now was different. I guess she had grown into a woman from that strangely dressed young girl. But her eyes...they had changed, so much that they were no longer the same pair of eyes she used to have years ago. I could see deep-seated sadness in them.

In a while, she sat beside me. She made it feel like I wasn't someone who at one point in the past had tried to kill her without second thoughts.

"A lot has changed," she let out a deep breath. Her head turned back at me, and I glanced at her from the corners of my eyes. I knew what she was talking about. Somehow, it annoyed me upon realizing she was right about it. Just the fact that she was still here with me, breathing, was enough evidence.

A brief silence had passed while the sakura blossoms were flying in the air. "You still resent Inuyasha, don't you?"

I frowned and thinned my lips. It had been three years since the defeat of Naraku, and I guess, a lot had changed but my relationship with Inuyasha was something that was far from changing significantly.

She looked away from me when she got the impression.

A long silence followed as we both watched small birds flying around the clearing, and the sakura blossoms fluttering on the ground. She hated what she had seen on my face. That was when I realized why it did hurt for her to tell me that she loved him... for she knew I still harboured hate for that hanyo.

"It's not his fault that he's half-human, half-demon. And there's really nothing wrong with that."

I paused my thoughts, but kept my silence. My eyes narrowed. I didn't need to be lectured about it. Yet, she was not making it sound like she was, it was more like just venting out the heaviness from her chest in the air. It just happened that I was there to take a sip of it.

And by then I already knew what she was trying to do. "I guess it doesn't really matter a lot if both worlds can't accept him. But what would make a big difference is your opinion of him," she continued. Then I remembered asking her earlier why she was helping me...

_So, this is all about him…_

I was enraged again for a moment, but it didn't last for long. I glanced at her and saw the pains etched on the features of her face while her eyes were fixed at the skies. It made me feel weak, as if the pains were in my own chest, so much as to suffocate me.

From my observations, I could tell why she felt the need to tell these things to me. Inuyasha had still been a constant object of discrimination in their village. And perhaps that was why they had to build their hut on top of a hill adjacent to the village.

Inuyasha was used to it. Throughout his hundreds of years, he had learned how not to be bothered anymore or seek acceptance; his arrogance and aloofness from the rest of the world were proof. Yet this girl—I could not expect her to take it lightly.

She was then hardly two decades old from the way she looked, and her fragile human heart could not help but feel the pains of it on behalf of my brother. But those were not of my concern.

I grabbed my haori and tried to move to put it on. She was surprised but hurried to help. I tried to dodge her yet she insisted. Her arms wrapped again around me as she put it on me. The tip of her nose had almost touched mine, but never once did I blink away. My brows knitted as I was trying to decipher her thoughts at that moment.

My face cringed when she guided my arm into the sleeve. "Gomen…" She paused worriedly. I just grimaced, averting my eyes.

Then she sighed and continued with a little hesitance… Her sleeve slid down her arm, baring the bruise I had inflicted on her earlier. But she did not hate me. I felt bad, I felt irritated, too. All these were the manifestation of her love for my brother... I despised her in silence. The look in her eyes, the warmth of her touch, they were bled from that love. And I didn't want a single drop of it.

When she had finally put the haori around me and on my arms, she paused when her eyes caught mine. I saw her blushed upon realizing we were that close. My heart throbbed loudly once, and felt my own blood rushing to my face. I inched away and pulled my stares, feigning nonchalance.

She finished what she was doing with utmost care as not to hurt me further. Her hand reached for my back as she wrapped the obi around my waist. I could tell that she was nervous under my supervision, and she wasn't able to tie it the right way the first time. I thought she'd rather that I close my eyes again, like earlier when she traced my face.

"Don't bother yourself with that," I had found myself saying. But I was ignored again. Scoffing her domineering behavior towards a great demon such as myself, I could tell why she was able to put up with my brother.

As soon as she was done, she backed away. I pulled the ribbon on my hair to untie it. She was just watching me with worry in her eyes.

There was a sinking feeling inside me that I could not understand, which was making my lips press into a hard line. "Please rest for a little bit longer," she said timidly.

"Leave me alone..." my voice lacked the usual authority it had.

"You are alone."

Her voice sounded so detached that it sent pains to my chest greater than those of my wounds. I didn't understand this feeling completely.

"Close your eyes. I'll be here when you wake up," she continued, just throwing glances at me from the corner of her eyes.

I clenched my jaws but chose to say nothing.

I took a deep breath and held it for moments. Releasing it, I closed my eyes with the trace of my restlessness still vivid on my face. My senses hearkened each breath that she'd take... assuring myself that she was still there. Yet it felt different this time. She was there, but I no longer felt the warmth I was made to feel earlier. I felt more than just alone. And for the first time in my existence, it bothered me for feeling so.

The lulling sound of soft wind, the rustling of trees and grass, later sent me into a deep slumber. Despite this strange melancholy that was consuming my being, I trusted those words, in a way. In irony of my wish to be left alone, I held on to her words...like a promise that instilled this strange desire and hope, that somehow, the warmth I once felt would come back upon the next awakening of my eyes.

 _Strange human girl_ , I thought.

* * *

When the dark haze lifted as I slowly opened my eyes, my senses immediately picked up that I was all by myself. I stirred and looked around. The shadow of the tree was slender and longer against the ground in front of me, telling me the sun was about to set.

_'Close your eyes. I'll be here when you wake up.'_

A voice in my head woke up my guard. I straightened up and scanned my surroundings further. The girl was nowhere in sight.

I let out a deep breath. Foolish girl.

She told me she would be here, but she wasn't. Well, why would it matter? After all, I asked her to leave over and over. Yet I was hating on her. I believed the words. I didn't really want her to stay, but no one tells this Sesshomaru something they don't mean.

I kept reflecting her image in my head sitting down beside me. Even when she wasn't around, her lingering presence was still infuriating.

Then her words about my brother consumed my thoughts. I could not believe Inuyasha had acquired a human wife that would just annoy me this way.

Until the air dashed away my thoughts. It brought me a scent that my nose abhorred so much. A demon. I could sense the malice of its aura.

_'Close your eyes. I'll be here when you wake up.'_

The words played in my head again. A clenching pain struck my chest.

Suddenly, the air brought me another scent. _Blood._

Only then did I notice her things were still beside me.

I was greatly enraged… and I felt anxious. I didn't think twice for a second. And in spite of too much difficulty, I rushed to get to where the demon was hiding. Damn it. How could I have missed sensing it in my sleep?

My heart was beating fast.

_Stupid miko._


	3. The Stained Scent of Jasmine

 

> "Jaken threw in more woods into the fire; the blaze grew larger zealously, the rustling of the burning wood went louder, as if the fire itself was screaming in disagreement of the compassion I was starting to develop for that human." — _Sesshomaru_

* * *

 

> "I could not leave this girl. The touch of her hand would haunt me if I would." — _Sesshomaru_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"The Stained Scent of Jasmine"

It gasped as I hauled it up in the air by its neck. "Sesshomaru-sama…" I tightened my grip upon hearing my name.

"What are you doing here?" I said, trying not to show the searing pains I was feeling from my wounds. She chewed her lower lip as she struggled to breathe… The scent of human blood in the air was making me furious and impatient for her answer.

She clasped on my arm and hand, desperately trying to ease my grip. So I buried my claws onto her neck, the blood oozed out, streaming my claws down to my arms. She let out a croak as soon as I did that.

By then, she already knew that it's either she gives me an answer or I'd kill her. But her fate might just be the same, should she give an answer or not—it would just be a difference of _how_.

"I-I…" She's forcing out the words, her whole body was shaking out of extreme fear as I kept her suspended in the air. "I am just here t-to hunt." My eyes narrowed, searching her frightened eyes for the truth while I resisted the glaring rays of the sun. She was lying, so I buried my claws even deeper… She choked.

"You decided to hunt at where I am?" The wind blew strongly to my direction, bringing her long black locks in front of her shoulders. Her scent wasn't bad but it's making me puke, yet I didn't let it show.

The fright in her eyes was immediately replaced by an unnamed sadness and hurt. Suddenly, it was as if her eyes were giving away the truth themselves… it puzzled me. My lips thinned, never wavering my sharp stares at her.

"Why are you protecting that human?" Her voice was hoarse... though I heard clearly, it took me a moment to completely grasp her words. Then I found myself loosening my grip around her neck. I gave her such calculating stares at that, as I queried her eyes for some unspoken questions. _Just how much was she able to see?_

Her eyes searched mine in turn, and they made me feel as if my privacy was being breached. So I tossed her up in the air and she hit the trunk of a tree before falling incapacitated on the ground. The wounds my claws had inflicted on her neck were bleeding profusely.

I looked down at her as I carried my chin higher, "Any place that I grace with my presence is a forbidden ground for the likes of you." I said impassively. "I shall only say it once. Heed my words or you'll die."

The fright in her face re-surfaced once more, but it never outshone the hurt she was feeling. I did not understand where was that hurt coming from and I couldn't care less. If I pleased, I could kill her. But I guess, I was also half-defensive of the idea that I'd seem to be protecting that miko.

My last words had the tone of finality in them, making it clear that she must never go against them. She roused on her feet and fled; in no time, she disappeared into the woods, with her scent fading in the air.

I remained standing there for a few moments while I reflected her words, _'Why are you protecting that human?'_ I scoffed at the notion once more. No, I was not protecting that human. I was just simply enraged by the impudence of that female dog daiyoukai to hunt, or whatever her bidding was, in my presence, as if in a futile attempt to dishonor me.

* * *

 

The air brought me the scent of her human blood once more, and only then did I realize that I was familiar with her smell—the sweet fragrance of jasmine. I felt the urge to shrug it off and walk away. But then, the brief moments we shared beneath the sakura tree were flashing back in my head.

My heart was sinking as I continued to take a sip of the scent of her blood in the air. I turned around and stared at the trees in front of me. The air blew once again, enticing me. Then I decided to take a look. My footsteps were unearthly silent as I made my way through the woods.

As I got closer, I heard the crunching noise against the grass. For some reasons, it made me stop. In between the woods and twigs I caught the sight of her, dragging her body towards the trunk of a tree, leaving a trail of blood against the grass. I felt my jaws clenching upon seeing her in such horrible condition.

She leaned her back and head against its bark. I stared at her profile for long… then she closed her eyes and let out a hiss.

I narrowed my eyes upon noticing a bloodstained kunai she was gripping at one hand; it was the kunai thrown at her by that daiyoukai, I could tell. She must have been lured in this corner while I was asleep. It made my eyes narrow.

A big gash on her thigh was peeping through a slit tear on the side of her bloodstained trousers. The filtered rays of the sun through the thin canopy of the forest was shining down at her, making the sight of her agony looked so solemn.

The blood streaming down her right thigh looked so compelling as I watched her profile, and I thought the way it glimmered as the sunlight reflected on it was fascinating.

We were now in the same state—wounded. But then, I thought, we were never the same. She could die from that wound, I wouldn't. And I should think that it served her right, for brazenly forcing her unneeded help on me.

Then my eyes were drawn to how she ripped off her trousers with that kunai, baring her thigh down to her ankle full of blood. The piece of cloth from her trousers was immediately used to tie a knot just right above the gash to halt the bleeding.

I hated her, here she was because of her stupidity. If only she did not stray away, this wouldn't happen. But it wasn't like I cared, I just could not accept how my wounds had deterred my senses, that a daiyoukai was able to breach my privacy.

The stream of blood had stopped. That was when I realized I shouldn't be bothered; this girl wouldn't die. Besides, it was of no significance to me if she would.

I walked away from that scene, but my footsteps were awfully slow and heavy. It was as if I was going against the flow of a very strong force, but I was nonetheless resisting it.

The memories of her touch and even the mysterious glint in her eyes kept flashing in my head. Then I remembered her words. Whatever it was that I had seen in her eyes were of no importance, for all those were just reflecting her feelings for him. Besides, she was a human… my brother's wench…

In fact, it was because of him that she found herself in that forest. It was really not hard to tell as I thought about it while dragging my steps.

Inuyasha never gave up the habit of spending time in that shrine every afternoon—grieving, even after settling down with this human girl. I guess she wanted to allow him more time to himself and had decided to take a walk in this forest until she found me.

A long while had passed since I began my heavy steps away from her, it felt like I was leaving a part of me in between those woods. The skies were turning red as the sun prepared to set, as if the clouds themselves were stained by her human blood.

The wind that caresses my face was getting colder, still carrying her faint scent, making me think of the big gash she had earned, rendering her unable to go home.

* * *

 

After somewhat a long walk, I reached the spot in the forest at where I left Jaken with A-un. My arrival was received warmly.

I knew Jaken's eyes were scrutinizing my body, as if searching for the injuries I had earned from the previous evening, but I ignored him. Then he handed me over a scroll. I stared at it uninterestedly. His words were being overpowered by the strong wind and the memory of her touch in my head, and I didn't think I understood any of what he had said.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" That dashed away my thoughts. I looked down at him, and saw in his humongous eyes that he was aware of my disorientation. Annoyed by his intrigued eyes, I rolled up the scroll and swatted him hard on the head. He cried, and muttered words to himself, greatly confused at what I just did.

I turned my back at him and lifted my gaze. The sun had just completely set, the darkness creeping in slowly. With each passing gust of cold wind, I knew the girl was still right where I had left her. I couldn't care less yet there was a heavy feeling on my chest, as if a strong force was calling me to come back for that part of me that I had disowned somewhere.

I began to feel irked by the drying blood of that daiyoukai on my hand.

Probably, Jaken was already curious as to why we were staying that late in that forest, but he didn't say anything. He just went to gather some firewood and used the two-head staff to set them ablaze.

On a boulder, I sat composedly to watch the flames, feeling its heat against my cold skin.

My hand reached for my chest and made its way underneath my haori, running my fingers past the bandages underneath. A slight grimace surfaced from my face. That miko, that fool—had she just turned away as soon as she'd found me in my slumber and never come back to uselessly treat my wounds, she would have not gotten herself into such trouble.

My own wounds would heal soon and would not leave any scar, but this day would remain etched in my memories. Somehow, her selflessness was annoying me that all I could think of was how utterly stupid she could be.

Jaken threw in more woods into the fire; the blaze grew larger zealously, the rustling of the burning wood went louder, as if the fire itself was screaming in disagreement of the compassion I was starting to develop for that human.

She must have survived that daiyoukai but the wild animals in that forest would surely come after her. More time had passed and the scent in the air had not changed. That baka, Inuyasha, won't he even come and save his wife?

It was ironic how I was expecting him to come and save his wife, when I had been resenting him for centuries, for our father had died in the act of saving him and his human mother.

For all I know, that miko could die in vain in the middle of this forest and I shouldn't care less. But obviously, I was there, staying late in that cold and dark forest, perhaps ensuring that no more misfortune would befall her.

As the night grew older, with the air growing bitterly colder, and the forest growing more quiet, with only the screeches of insects could be heard, and the howling of some wild dogs—I could no longer keep myself on my seat. I roused and clenched my jaws, both disgusted by the howling and with myself for contemplating what I was about to do.

Jaken looked up at me confusedly. I heard him gasp but he didn't say any as he watched me walking away. It was a relief that he had no idea about the struggle I was going through inside me. Feeling that way was already disgrace enough for someone like me, much more if someone else became aware of it.

I felt annoyed that her scent in the air was making me feel anxious, and I resented every step that I was taking at that moment towards her direction. I could not believe how she was causing me to behave this way.

_You owe me this one, Inuyasha._

* * *

 

As I stepped away from the fire, I began to realize how truly cold that night was. The light of the blaze faded away as I walked through the woods; I was walking into the darkness, as if I was about to explore an unfamiliar terrain, where I could find answers that would not let me turn back to the fire.

The air around became very still and quiet, as though the forest itself needed silence as it tried to discern what I was about to do—save her. The moon was nowhere to be found tonight, and the canopy of the forest was shading the ground from the stars.

I tried to kill her on our first encounter, but this wasn't the first time that I'd be doing this. In fact, I had done this several times in the past, I just would not admit it openly. But with each hesitant step, I felt like from this point forward, everything would change. And it was making me feel uneasy, for I had no idea how much of everything was that everything.

I relied on my sharp senses to move through the dark. As I got closer, the scent of her dried blood grew stronger. And with the forest that quiet, I thought I could hear her heavy breathing even from that distance.

The fresh tears streaming down her cheeks was giving off the saltiness in the air, engulfing me of her loneliness. Hurting, I could tell, for it seemed her husband had forgotten about her. I could feel so much restlessness in her aura. Was she afraid of the dark? I scoffed it.

My footfalls became intentionally loud and heavy, as I wanted her to be fully aware of my presence, preparing her as I approached. I could see from that faint silhouette in the dark that she had turned her head to my direction; from there I knew that there was no more turning back at this point.

I heard the rustling of her clothes and grass as she straightened up from her slouch. And as soon as she did that, she let out a long hiss. I could not help but grit my teeth because of her recklessness. But then, the pain didn't dash her attention away from my heavy and slow footfalls.

She was breathing through her mouth, anxious for sure for not being able to see through the dark. But then, I guess, she was praying hard in vain that it was whom she'd been waiting for. "Inuyasha?" Her voice was shaking, shivering or on the verge of bursting into tears. I held my breath as I heard that, and stopped behind the woods.

My lips pursed, and I clawed hard against the moistened bark of a tree right in front of me. That name made me feel like right at that very moment, the whole forest was already scorning at me, ridiculing me for just even being there, not my brother.

She was breathing even more heavily upon not getting any response. I twitched my lips and pulled my eyes away. This is a disgrace, I thought to myself. How could I let myself be swayed to come back for her, this insignificant human who has but a short life? Only my stupid younger brother would waste his time over such things.

I stood there for long. From a distance, I could hear the silent and calculated footfalls of the starving wild dogs. And I thought, even the growling of their empty stomachs was deafening.

The girl resigned from waiting for a response and shrank back to her seat, leaning her head disappointedly against the trunk of a tree. She started to sob, crying to herself.

Looking at her, feeling how disappointed she was, I thought, had I revealed myself, had she found out it wasn't him—her heart would still be crushed into pieces either way. And for some reasons that I didn't know and understand, my pride was being assaulted by stabbing pains that were unfamiliar to me.

No one else was there, and my scarred ego was furious to prove her how foolish she was for expecting it was someone else. She was at my mercy at that moment, it was for me to decide if I should witness her painful death through the teeth and jaws of those wild dogs that wouldn't have a tough time tearing her flesh apart, or give her that biggest privilege of her life to be carried in my arms back to her home. But why would I choose the latter? To honor her help, her unneeded help?

 _'You can't tell me to leave you when I know you are in that condition.'_ Her voice echoed in my head.

As I was staring at her silhouette, despite my fury, I was reminded of the warmth I felt when I was with her. The touch of her hands...the worries in her eyes... all that just made it even more difficult to deal with my ego at this moment or even leave. For some reasons, all these kept reminding me of my father, yet, I could not name what they were.

I filled my chest with air and let out a deep breath.

I could not leave this girl. The touch of her hand would haunt me if I would.

But just when I was already convinced to swallow my pride, I heard a familiar voice echoing throughout the wilderness— _my half-brother._

* * *

 

My lips thinned bitterly in an instant as I heard that; the muscles on my throat tightened. And before I was even able to resent his presence, my attention got drawn back to the figure of the human girl through the dark as she straightened up once more. The life in her rekindled.

I remained standing there for moments, and began feeling my feet growing heavy, as if I could imagine the earth getting ready to devour me alive, and I'd be more than willing to.

It was terribly dark then, yet I think my eyes were giving away the sudden confusion flooding within me as I felt my brother drawing closer. His presence seemed to have pulled me back to reality, so abruptly that I needed a moment to clear my head.

I glared at that direction from the corner of my eyes, enraged by the mere thought that he set his foot on this forest. His scent plagued my nose and it irritated every fiber of my flesh in a way that it had never done before. And I instinctively wanted to keep him from drawing closer, as I was subconsciously holding him responsible for all those animosities I was going through.

The girl's heart was beating loud in a language that I thought I might never be able to understand—her burning, selfless love for that baka. I turned my head, snatching my eyes away from her as I tried to name the strange feeling that was building up in my own chest.

I heard her hoarse voice as she responded to him, and I forced myself to look back. It felt like the sound of that name coming from her parched throat was telling me to turn away. And suddenly, the trees seemed to have grown bigger, with the branches and leaves looking down at me, shaming me for staying a breath longer.

The air that had long been silent began to blow strongly to my direction. I looked at the girl ruefully, glaring at her restless silhouette in the dark as she awaited him impatiently. At that point, I willed myself to turn away, resenting her for causing me to act foolishly and feel all those stir of strange, senseless emotions inside me.

Her soft sobs started yet again as her tears streamed down her cheeks, staining the air with its saltiness once more. Hearing that felt like my back turned at her was burning.

She was weeping.

No, it wasn't sadness this time—it was a feeling of relief upon affirming that she was loved. All those quiet pains and fears were eased. And instantly, it faded away my fury as I began to empathize with her; actually feeling relieved myself as I began to understand how it meant the world for her that my brother had come.

I guess, what I did not understand at first was that it had always been Inuyasha who was protecting and coming to rescue her. And it was normal that she'd be expecting him. In fact, she wanted no one to come but him.

My eyes narrowed at realizing my ability to empathize with such kind of emotions. And it only took me a few moments until I was able to convince myself that I was annoyed by her sobs.

I lifted my hand and reached for my hair. Letting my fingers run flawlessly through my long white tresses, bringing a lock of my hair to the front of my shoulder as I carried my head higher. I pressed my lips tighter, scoffing at how she was wearing her heart on her sleeves—denying to myself that I think _it was alright to cry._

I began my unearthly silent steps away. Never minding the twigs and leaves that were brushing my face. Hardly leaving any trace of my presence. Leaving it a forbidden knowledge between me and that forest that I had ever been behind the woods.

 _This is in my favor,_ I thought to myself—I was spared from such disgrace for my brother had come. I'd let him take all those lesser credits for himself for utterly wasting his time by saving a life that he would soon have to witness to wither, and be forgotten by time. Yet I felt like I just had a taste of my own defeat for the first time.

Their faint voices were still audible to my ears, much to my annoyance. "I need to go back to the sakura tree..."

"What sakura tree?"

"I left...ahmm...some...something important in there." It made me pause. My brows furrowed at what I heard.

"Huh?"

"My basket and my medicine kit."

I twitched my lips and began to stride forward again. The noise continued to fade away as I was furthering the distance with my soundless gait.

"Keh! What were you even doing here in the first place? Baka..."

"Osuwari!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: After this night, would everything still be the same?


	4. About That Night

> "But in that moment, she looked safer in that cold and dark forest than in his arms." — _Sesshomaru_

* * *

> "So the second time that she passed by, I just had to stop her. I couldn't be more foolish but I forgave myself for it, because I just had to know. 'What happened to that?' I asked..." — _Sesshomaru_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"About That Night"

I carried my chin up and met the glaring rays of sunlight. It'd been several days since then. And I was right, I would still find myself thinking about that girl often.

The way she cried for him that night, the way she needed him as much as she needed the air, and even the way that she had taken care of me—I guessed, it would never cease to amuse me.

For several nights after my encounter with that wench in the forest, the memories about my father kept haunting my thoughts. And each time, I'd be filled with resentment towards the humans that had caused my father's demise. I did not know back then why these things keep reminding me of that tragedy.

I lowered my head and turned to my side, catching sight of Rin running towards my direction. She stopped just right in front of me, with her arms in the air as she turned around, showing me herself in that delicate kimono I had brought her that day.

The villagers around us couldn't help but turn their heads and be intrigued by her fondness of me. It had been years since I brought her here, but they were never able to get used to us.

I stared at that big grin, and it's telling me how I could give this child even the most insignificant and senseless thing in the world, but I would never fail to bring an innocent smile to her face.

I glanced at Inuyasha from the corner of my eyes, as he spoke to the old miko. Seeing him made me realize that I hadn't caught a glimpse of his wife since that night.

Not that I wanted to see her, but it made me wonder how long it took for frail humans like her to recover from such petty gash. It took me a moment before I realized that he had turned to my direction. I coldly snatched my eyes away, and felt my jaws as they clenched.

Without looking, I knew he started to walk towards me. Rin confirmed it when she greeted him as he was drawing closer. The sound of his name would never get old to annoy me. He praised how the child looked pretty in her new kimono, and I thought that kind of reaction from him was unheard of, neither him being fond of children.

He called my name just before he stopped a few steps away. I didn't bother to turn my head but my brows wrinkled. "What do you know about that night?" He asked with such arrogance that he would never be able to unlearn. I narrowed my eyes.

"That place was reeked of your scent. You must have seen what happened. Who attacked Kagome?" He spoke as if it was required of me to explain, as if he had the right to know. I started to feel that boiling rage building up inside me as I grasped his words.

The people around could sense the tension stirring up between us as I kept my silence. The air was gently blowing between us, bringing us the fresh scent of morning dew. Both Jaken and the child were at a loss of what he was talking about.

I became greatly enraged by his audacity to ask after all. It was for him why the miko had found herself in that forest, and even dared to offer me help. And now he was asking in that tone as though the world owed him an explanation.

His question played back in my head as I remained standing there, with my gaze locked at the horizon shrouded by fog, past the rice fields in front of us, _'What do you know about that night?'_ It made me realize how much of that night was I think I understand, in a way that he might never be able to, being the baka that he was.

Then I decided, I do not need to say a word on the matter. I relaxed my facade and the annoyance that showed on my eyes faded. I gracefully turned away, my long hair swished beautifully as it followed my body. But before I was even able to take my first step, I felt his hand drawing closer to my arm as if it was about to haul me back and keep me from leaving. Instantly, it sent my fury to every vein in my body like bolts of lightning.

In that split second, I turned back at him and whisked that hand away. I didn't know how it happened but my next movement thrusted my fist in the air, and my knuckles found themselves hitting him hard on the face, pouring out all that pent up rage inside of me.

His strong knees had kept him in place. And as he turned his head back at me, while tracing the tingling corner of his mouth with his finger, I saw that trace of astonishment on his face as his glaring eyes met my stony gaze.

My eyes were locked on him and I knew in that instant what would happen next, yet I found myself letting it happen as it would—he thrashed me hard on the face with his knuckles. That threw off my face to the side but it didn't hurt. I could've dodged it if I pleased, but I did not. I think I even warmly welcomed it. The young monk rushed in between us, pushing him back, pinning his arms down.

"If I find out you had anything to do with it, I will finish you off in one blow!" He whined, desperately trying to break free. But it seemed that friend of his had an undeniably extraordinary strength for a human that my brother couldn't loosen his grip.

Those words enraged me even more that I thought my face couldn't hide it anymore. I kept my head to my side as I let the tingling sensation on my face wake me up from all those foolishness.

Somehow, I understood where he was coming from. The discrimination they were getting from the villagers was driving him to act and speak like that, and be very protective of his wife.

Slowly, I turned my head back at my brother while Jaken was whining back at him, but my voice shut him up instantly as I began to break my silence. "Had you been keeping an eye on that girl and not spending most of your time away, you wouldn't even have to ask what had happened."

I felt that strong conviction in my words as they came out of my mouth, as if I had never said anything more right in my whole life.

I could read from his eyes that he was weighing my words in disbelief. I composedly turned my back at them as I heard him letting out a faint growl, he was probably both feeling guilty and lost at what I had just said. "Don't dare try to lay your filthy hand on me again," I added as I stepped away towards a seat built conveniently under the shade of a maple tree.

I sat composedly and the child followed me. Jaken stayed on that spot, and I tried not to pay attention to how annoying he was as he whined non-stop at my brother who wasn't even listening to him. I guess my words did the trick—my brother resigned from rage and walked away with his friend.

The child's eyes never left me, it's as if she was seeing something on my face that was keeping her from blinking away as we sat next to each other. But I wasn't paying attention, my eyes just followed my brother as he walked away and climbed up the hill at a distance.

* * *

 

I was questioning myself why I acted that way, that confrontation could easily escalate into the drawing out of our swords into a fierce fight, yet I had let his remark pass as swiftly as the breeze. Perhaps, the miko was right, _'A lot has changed.'_

Not too long had passed when I heard a loud pound in my heart. It was even before I was able to process what I was actually seeing—my brother, climbing down the hill, carrying the miko in his arms.

My eyes were just locked on them as they drew closer. I began running my eyes over the way his arms were wrapped around her body, carrying her with such care. I was trying to avoid being drawn to her face but it didn't take long till I lifted my eyes and first saw her pale lips.

Against my will, I looked at her face. I was confused to see some scratches and pale bruises on her face that I had never seen back in the forest. They were almost healed but still visible. I didn't know where she got them. But in that moment, she looked safer in that cold and dark forest than in his arms.

Time seemed to have slowed down as I continued to watch them walking closer to the old miko's house. She was leaning comfortably against his body. Her dull eyes were fixed on him, and I wondered how could she see so many good things in him that I couldn't.

She has not recovered from her injury, I thought. Usually, coming down to that village from their hut atop the hill, she'd be riding on his back, but this time she had to be carried on his arms. I scoffed her weakness, I scoffed how she was acting like her whole life depended on that baka.

Inuyasha settled her down on her feet by the door of the old miko's house. I stared at her mouth as she spoke words to him. He uttered words back so soft, it melted her on her feet as his hand cradled the back of her neck.

They both nodded at each other, and I found myself wrinkling my brows as Inuyasha lowered down his head and sealed her lips with a kiss. Her hand reached for his cheek and cradled it momentarily. It reminded me of the feel of its touch. The air dared to blow to my direction and brought that faint scent of jasmine to my nose.

I held my breath as I scorned their foolishness. It was a moment so short, but to my eyes was slow enough, that I had the chance to see how her pale cheeks turned a tinge of red as their lips touched, her faint gasp, and her eyelids as they were shut tightly while she savored that short-lived moment.

"Does it hurt?" The child asked. I pulled my stares away quickly from that sight, and glared at Rin, holding my breath, scowling involuntarily in response to her words. Time seemed to have returned to its normal pace. It was only then that I realized she was still there, staring at me. I was scowling so bad that I saw that slight mix of fright and shock surfacing from her delicate face all of a sudden.

It took a moment before my glare moved down to that finger she was pointing at the corner of her mouth. Instantly, my glower faded away as I realized what she was actually referring to. I looked away at that realization.

I did not know why I instantly thought she was referring to that kiss. I gritted my teeth, but this time, I was trying to not let anything show on my face. Why would it hurt seeing two fools kissing? I asked myself. It was, in fact, annoying, so I did not understand where my reaction had come from.

Jaken answered her question on my behalf, and I could feel how enraged he was that I got asked that foolish question, he was yelling at the child in defense of my greatness. That was a mere punch, and it was nothing for someone like me. That baka, I could kill him easily had I wanted to, but the likes of him isn't even worth my breath right now.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw my brother walking away with the monk. His wife just watched from where she stood as they walked away.

My uninterested eyes transferred at her without my wish, and to my surprise she was already looking at me too. Immediately, I was dragged into that deep abyss of her eyes, and drowned by that overwhelming sadness and pain I had only partially seen before.

There was no chance for me to pull my gaze away, and as our eyes were locked I started to feel an odd longing to hear that annoying honorific, Onii-san, from her lips and see that cheerful smile on her face, but she didn't.

After a few moments, she nodded at me, a faint smile was forced onto her lips. I kept my cold facade on. Then she turned her back and went inside the house of the old miko.

I was left startled as I watched her almost hobbling with each small and painstaking step, still hurting from her injured thigh, I could easily tell. I blinked away and she was gone from my sight.

The villagers passed by in front of us. I narrowed my eyes as I heard their resentment towards her, comparing her to someone else. And all along, it wasn't just me who was scorning that miko, the people of that village were not pleased by her. And they resented her even more now for just merely being injured, scoffing her weakness like how I did.

In my demon eyes, I naturally saw her as nothing but a weakling. Yet, I felt this strange disagreement for every word that I heard. They knew nothing of the countless times she had fought fiercely with her arrows, even pointing them at me to save my brother. No, they knew nothing. But why do I feel defensive on her behalf?

At that point, I realized how shallow was my understanding of it before. That pain I had seen in her eyes when I displayed my displeasure about receiving her help, and even each sighs that passed her lips—I think I understood better now in a way as if I cared.

Later, I heard from Jaken that most of the crops were destroyed by pests. My brother and his wife would get only a half of their supposed share of the harvest, which was already less than a half of what the other households were getting. And I understood that Inuyasha exorcising demons from other villages together with the monk was no longer just a pastime. He had to work to provide food for his wife.

* * *

 

It was before sunrise when I heard voices along a muddy road at the foot of the mountain. When I peered, I realized it was the wife of the monk, the demon slayer. She was arguing with some men who were porting crops to a market town far away from the village.

She was with her nekomata. I realized that she had been surveilling these men, and she was able to catch them in the act this time. The men pointed out that those crops would be sold in exchange of goods that the village would need most. And that those were more important than feeding a hanyo and his wife. The demon slayer tried to argue, but she was overruled.

I wondered if Inuyasha was aware of it. His wife had been serving the village, but she had been getting so little from her toil because of him.

* * *

 

Nothing had changed when I came back in that village a few days after, the girl's eyes remained lifeless, and I only got a nod from her when she passed by. I wondered why she looked so sorrowful.

So the second time that she passed by, I just had to stop her. I couldn't be more foolish but I forgave myself for it, because I just had to know. "What happened to that?" I asked, but I tried to sound as uninterested as I could. She stopped and looked at me, and I immediately felt the need to shrink away.

She forced a smile on her face. "I was attacked by a demon in the forest…" she answered as if it was just nothing. But I was not pertaining to her injured thigh, of course I know about that. "Your face," I said plainly, thinking she would immediately catch what I meant.

A trace of amusement surfaced on her face, probably surprised of my curiosity. I was greatly convinced of how disgraceful it was to be standing there before her eyes, asking about such insignificant thing. But I never pulled my eyes away from her, I was keeping my facade on.

"I tripped when I was attacked. It was nothing," she reassured me with a big smile. Then the young kitsune called her attention away, and they walked off.

I knew she was lying.

The old miko was beside me at that time, which I did not notice until she broke her silence. "There had been some disputes between her and the people," she said, leaving everything else to my imagination. I didn't know what had happened during the days that I was away, but I thought, it should not be my concern. Yet I would not stop thinking about it.

 _This is not me,_ I told myself. That girl had been consuming my thoughts ever since she impudently crossed the boundary and dared to lay her human hands on me. So I decided to walk away and let that season pass. I just wanted to escape those eyes, for it did not feel right. I was a demon, and paying this much attention to a human was just unacceptable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sesshomaru decided to stay away, but for how long? And what would be awaiting him once he came back?


	5. Setting Sun

> "Yes… They are both handsome…" — _Kagome Higurashi_

* * *

> "Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation…" — _Kagome Higurashi_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Setting Sun"

On one of our pathless walks, I and Jaken passed by a river in between two mountains. We stopped over to let A-un graze and drink. It's the same river streaming down near the village.

The air brought me a familiar scent—my brother. He was not by himself, I could smell the young kitsune. I set my eyes to where the faint noises were coming from, and saw them upstream by the river, not too far from us.

It seemed they were trying to catch some fish with their bare hands. _Baka,_ he kept scolding his catch for giving him a hard time. I was wondering why they have to do it here away from the village. I noticed they were also carrying a basket full of fruits.

When he was able to catch my scent, he gave me a confused look. But then, he immediately replaced it with a smirk, "Hoi, Sesshomaru! If you are trying to catch some fish for dinner, you have to wait until we leave. 'Coz I will catch them all before they get to you."

 _Baka._ I looked away.

Then I heard the kitsune's remark about what he said. I saw it coming—my brother knocked him out.

In a while, Jaken's gasp caught my attention. He had been staring at my brother and the kitsune as they were catching fish, I could tell that he had also noticed the basket of fruits. "That Kagome must be pregnant…" he whispered.

I narrowed my eyes.

My knuckles found themselves doing to Jaken what Inuyasha had done to the kitsune… only harder, that I had almost killed him.

It was only after I did that I asked myself _why_.

Perhaps I just would not want to see some child running around with the same annoying face as this hanyo. _Yes…that's it._ Could never be anything else.

* * *

The spring when a strange new me grew into existence had given way to summer, days had gone warmer, the air had gone humid, but I was still stuck in the memories of that day. And even when the season of sakura blossoms had finished and roses started to grow in abundance, I would still think about her. Perhaps still subconsciously holding onto that promise she left me with before I closed my eyes as we perched beneath that lonely tree.

A huge storm had destroyed most houses, and flash floods from the mountains had killed and buried many. And much to everyone's dismay, continuous rains in various places had drowned the fields—and famine had hit the region briefly after the season of spring.

The village remained still largely unaffected. The lush vegetation in the mountains and the river could still sustain its needs.

It had been a while since I last graced the village with my presence, often just sending Jaken in my stead, yet even staying away didn't seem to help in escaping her eyes. It was still too early, but I had to come back to see the child. My demonic instincts were warning me of an impending danger.

* * *

When I came back, almost nothing had changed. The buzzing noise from cicadas was making everything seem normal.

The child tried on the jewelry I had given her. It had a simple string, adorned with small lustrous black beads and gold. On its pendant was a tiny glass vial, caged in six thin bronze bars, spaced evenly from one another, they all bend and meet at the top and bottom of the vial to prevent the delicate glass from breaking.

The glass was clear as crystal, so she could see how it was half filled with my blood, how the crimson color stains the half-empty part with every movement she makes. I wondered if she could tell that the blood was mine. It was a silent promise, in place of the words I could never say.

It was keeping her from throwing questions about where I had gone, and I lost track of how long had passed since she started staring at it. I was with her yet my eyes were wandering, my nose was longing for a particular scent. Nothing had changed, but it felt as if something was missing.

"Kagome-sama went to gather herbs." Her innocent voice interrupted my thoughts. I calmly turned my head at her, wondering if my face had given me away, greatly threatened by the mere thought of it. But she was still looking down at the vial hanging on her neck while her tiny fingers were holding it, tilting it left and right.

Her smile never leaving her lips, "I want to show her this. I wonder when she's coming home." Looking at her now, I didn't even think she was talking to me, it was like she was in her own world, with only her and my blood vial in it. A long sigh escaped my mouth, but even that didn't help to relieve my chest of this heavy feeling.

That miko, what had she ever done to this Sesshomaru?

* * *

News about looting and abduction of women and children in various human dwellings around the region had reached me. Small and unguarded villages were the frequent targets. At times, it felt like the lootings were orchestrated by wealthy landlords. No help was received from the shoguns. And these bandits would bleed everything they could get from one village to another. Lack of order and bloodshed were not uncommon.

In fact, it had been a constant sight lately when we fly high in the skies. Naturally, these were not of my concern… but I had found myself visiting Rin in the village almost every other day. If not, I would leave Jaken and A-un by her side till I came back.

I hardly had a glimpse of the miko since I got back. Perhaps I had always come at the time of the day that she was away or just boring herself inside their hut. Yet there was one time that I had seen her atop the hill, her eyes were fixed at a distance as she stood in front of their hut. I could tell that she was aware of the upcoming disaster—it wasn't the bandits, nor the famine. It was something else.

* * *

It was one late summer afternoon when I had finally chanced upon her…

As I landed on my feet, I saw her around some children who were very fond of her. She seemed extremely popular with kids. They would tag along when she moved around the village to treat the sick. She hardly noticed me… or maybe she did, but was just not interested to even turn her head. Why would it matter anyway...

Inuyasha climbed down from the shrine, I saw him from the distance as he trailed down a flight of stairs. He walked towards the direction of his wife. The sun was about to set, and their shadows were growing slender and longer against the ground. The children hid themselves behind the back of the miko as they'd seen my brother drawing closer. They were frightened and I heard some weak gasps.

The miko just smiled and hushed them. Inuyasha summoned her to come with him, but he didn't stop walking. He just walked past them, for he was aware of the children's restlessness towards him. He was pouting as he carried his chin higher. He walked towards the direction of the setting sun. His shadow had almost touched my feet as he stood from afar.

She kneeled down in front of the children as Inuyasha awaited her impatiently. Her hand stroked their heads. It felt nostalgic as I began reminiscing that moment when those fingers were tracing my face. "Why are you afraid of him?" she asked them. I was just throwing glances at them from time to time, paying great attention to their voices with my acute hearing.

The children hesitated to answer, but one of them brazenly said, "Because he looks scary…"

It made her pause, but she smiled nonetheless. It was a weak smile. I thought it must have hurt for her to hear such words. "What part of him looks scary?" she inquired. Inuyasha was calling her name, but she was ignoring him.

"His claws…" the children murmured almost in a chorus. The miko chuckled, I saw how it relieved her a little bit. She was amused by their innocence.

"But look at him…" she said. The kids turned their heads shyly at Inuyasha who was standing at a distance. "...look at his face. Does he really look scary?"

A brief pause followed before the children were able to shake their heads or say no. The miko sighed in great relief. "See?" she said with a wide smile. "So the next time, you can just look at his face and you won't have to feel scared."

One small girl could not take her eyes away from my brother who was throwing sharp side-eye glances at them. "He… He's actually handsome." The small girl said timidly. Inuyasha had heard it, he turned his back at them in a very snob manner, and faced the sun as it was blazing red across the horizon.

She nodded. "Yes…he is." The agreement came to her naturally.

I didn't understand why, but it seemed my knuckles had acted on their own volition as I hit Jaken hard on the head. He cried, but he paused when we both heard another voice... "Just like him…" a small boy blurted out. I was startled to see his finger pointed at me. I looked away immediately at that. But I could see from the corners of my eyes that the miko had turned her head to my direction.

I was strangely filled with embarrassment, which had never happened before, hearing such remarks from humans and even demons.

"Yes…they are both handsome…" the miko said in a weak voice as her smile gradually faded… she sounded as if she had just realized it too. I held my breath, and Jaken seemed to have gasped on my behalf.

I was discreetly peering at her from the corners of my eyes. Feeling my feet sinking onto the ground, as if I was melting under her stares—or perhaps, the sound of her voice echoing in my head.

The world around her seemed to have stopped, she would not move as she kept her eyes on me. I allowed myself to lock my eyes at her for a short while, and I didn't think she was even aware that I was already looking at her too. The sunset was behind her, and I could only see so much of her silhouette.

The air was still and quiet, and it seemed my ears had closed off from the buzzing noise of cicadas. It was too silent, and the sun could not bring itself to set completely as it was shining bright at me, allowing her to see me in a different light.

I thought, something looked so melancholic in her gaze as our eyes were locked momentarily. I don't know what exactly it was that had made that moment feel so suffocating and depressing.

For a moment, it felt as if she had seen the same thing that I was able to see from her own eyes before, a glimpse of something I hardly understood. The movement of her irises conveyed that she was pondering a revelation that was too strange for her. I looked away from her and just stared at the ground between my feet, trying to understand this strange feeling. And I was sure she could feel something similar at this moment.

"Hoi, Kagome!" Inuyasha called her attention. His voice dashed away our thoughts, and it broke her locked gaze at me. "You are wasting our time! Why don't you ask them to go home, it's getting dark. You should know demons like to eat children their age... Keh!" His arms were crossed, his back still turned at us, and I assumed he was still pouting.

One of the children had started to cry. The miko roused on her feet, and I saw her face cringed. "Inuyasha?" My brother cocked his head to the side a little bit… "Osuwari!" she said composedly. Inuyasha floundered face first on the ground. I heard some soft chuckles from the children. Later, she nicely asked them to go home.

Somehow, I understood why she was putting more than enough effort to win the hearts of those kids. Someday, they would be the adults of this village; influencing them this early to see Inuyasha from a different light would determine how the future would go for my brother as far as being accepted by the humans around him.

I sighed, and my eyes fell down at Jaken who was staring at me with complete bewilderment. I pursed my lips—and knocked him down. At times, it felt knocking him out was something that comes naturally, and it seemed he was made to endure my fist. But despite all these, Jaken had always put up with me.

* * *

Petals were flying in the air, to the skies they went. I avoided following them with my eyes and just locked my gaze at the field of flowers in front of me. My hand reached for the hilt of my tenseiga as I brooded over the memories of it. The wind sorceress…

She would, from time to time, cross my mind back in the days… perhaps curious at her vehement desire to break free from the chains that were holding her back. It had been three years since Kagura had flown away together with these petals…and gained that freedom…in fact, it looked as if she had become the very wind that carried them up in the skies.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes…the trace of her soul in the air was still all over the place. No…actually, it has been wherever I go. She's free…she's everywhere, like how it's supposed to be. I opened my golden eyes and saw the upcoming storm. The dark clouds were slowly creeping in the skies, shading the mountains and everything in sight.

* * *

The huge storm lasted for a couple of days, the river overflowed and flooded the fields. It wasn't that bad, Kaede's village was already able to harvest most of the crops. But it had been some long sleepless nights for the fear of flash floods and erosion from the surrounding mountains.

Food remained scarce for the entire region. The ocean could have been an alternate source, but transporting the catch was another story, especially in the case of the villages in the mountainous areas. And not a lot of people were engaged in fishing. The recent storm had aggravated the effects of famine, and landlords seizing livestock and crops from the locals were common.

I had witnessed a similar case a hundred years back, but I had little or no interest at all. But having Rin now, I found myself looking closely to the turn of events. Something was odd, I narrowed my eyes as I watched a small village being looted from where I stood atop a distant cliff. Besides knowing what's stirring these misfortunes, I knew something else was coming.

* * *

One morning, I visited the sakura tree at where the miko had found me in my sleep. There's something about it now that I could hardly name, perhaps it was for the thoughts that had been preoccupying me. It had been a while since that day, yet her touch still felt like it had been just yesterday.

I resented that touch just as much as I reveled being in her care. Living in a world where one such as myself spends life finding the next opponent to kill, being with her in that brief moment where I needed not to think of myself because she already was—had felt so peaceful. In the last centuries, my every victory, along with the pains that came after it, was spent in loneliness. It had always been an exclusive moment for only myself to bask. It was amusing how comforting it did feel to spend it in the presence of someone else.

Then her words about my brother came back to me…the genuine concern in her words, I could never forget it. Yet, no matter how hard I tried to empathize with those words, I hardly could. I still saw Inuyasha the same—I could not find a reason to see him otherwise. I still resented him for merely existing, for being who he was. He was a nobody, and I could not take pride in the fact that I was related by blood to a nobody.

These were my thoughts as I was dragging my feet towards the village. And as soon as I got at the outskirts of it, I saw a woman who seemed to be quarreling with the miko. I hardly was able to catch everything but I saw how the woman snatched the basket from the miko and threw it away, scattering all the herbs and even the odd tin box with all these strange little things I had seen before.

The miko did nothing—she just stood there almost frozen until the woman turned away. Then the miko picked everything up painstakingly, as if a part of her was still in awe at what had just happened. I continued my slow strides until Rin approached me with a big grin, pulling my eyes away from her. But I still wondered what had occurred between her and the woman.

I spent time sitting down under the shade of a maple tree with Rin. She'd tell me random things nonstop. It would seem at times that I was not listening, but each word, no matter how trivial, that she'd say was engraved in my memory. At times, I'd find the things she was telling me to be bizarre— _unworldly_ , I should say. Most of them came from the strange looking books that the miko had given her.

The entire while, the miko just spent time talking in front of a small crowd she was able to gather around. The old miko was with her. I had overheard they were preparing for the inevitable effects of famine, and what to do with the crops that had been drowned. She seemed very knowledgeable, and I had found, if not all, most of the things she would propose very sensible and plausible. Yet, just by merely being the wife of a hanyo, she encountered a lot of disapproval.

When the child had already left me alone to play with other children, I stood on my feet in front of the fields, to watch the setting sun. The trace of the previous storm was still very evident; the rice fields were still drowned in puddles of rainwater here and there.

In front of me, not too far away, were the miko and the demon slayer. They were sitting down the grassy embankments at the edge of the ricefields. They seemed to be in a deep conversation, and I instinctively closed off my sensitive ears from it.

The demon slayer rested her head on her shoulder, their shadows against the ground entwined. I wondered why I could not help but look. The ambiance around them was so lonely…and slowly, I found myself paying attention to the things they'd tell each other, which were spaced between short periods of silence and deep intakes of breath. "What are men like on the other side?" the wife of the monk asked idly.

Some children ran across in front of me, but I kept my ears on them. The miko chortled, breaking the melancholic climate surrounding them. I did not understand the question completely, but it seemed the miko was greatly amused. "I don't know how to answer that. Men are different from each other, so I could not describe them collectively. But I could say men from here are more romantic in a sense…at least for me."

What I heard baffled me a little bit. But I resolved they must be referring to the place where the miko had come from. And now as I think about it, it were not just the books that she had given my ward that were unworldly—she, herself, was the every sense of the word… though not in a bad way. I remembered seeing her for the first time years ago and thought of the same thing.

As my stares continued to bore on her back, I remembered she used to wear some odd-looking clothes. I concentrated on what she was wearing right now—a traditional miko attire. The long sleeves hanging loose on her sides as her arms were resting on her knees, were being swayed gently by the wind. And I thought, wearing it was one futile attempt of her to blend in this world where she hardly belonged. These clothes were not who she was, I knew for some reason.

Before the sun had completely set, they stood up and walked separate ways. The miko would have to take the stone pavement in front of me on her way to their hut on top of the hill to my left. Her eyes were fixed on me while she was surfacing from the sloping edge of the rice fields. Her silhouette was outlined by the charismatic rays of sunset, and I did not feel the need to avoid following her moving figure with my cold stares… I felt relaxed as I stood still, awaiting her to pass by.

The humid air was beginning to get cooler and I started to smell the scent of the upcoming evening. She smiled at me once she was walking down my way coming from my right, and that was when I flustered inwardly. The cold washed over me and my chest tightened. Time wore down slowly as she took her already painstaking gait towards me.

Only she could smile this simple and cause me to feel strange like this, and I loathed myself for the fact that I couldn't help but let myself be. "The sunset has always been beautiful to watch in this spot…" She said as she stopped a few steps away. Then she turned her head to the sun to as if ponder her own statement.

There was this youthful glow on her face as the fiery rays colored her skin... a radiance so mesmerizing, that her being a human no longer seemed to matter even a bit to me. I had never looked at her this way... Holding my breath, my eyelids stuttered a little as I realized one thing at that moment— _she's beautiful._ More beautiful than the sun that she was staring at right now… I was dazed by that realization.

I admitted this to myself very reluctantly.

Her fine brows complemented her big, expressive brown eyes, which were now reflecting the sunset, as if it would forever leave an impression in her memories, just the exact same way when she would look at me; her nose was small but perfect in all proportions; her tiny lips had a tinge of the softest pink, they looked so smooth and moist, and only now did I notice how those lips were almost devoid of any crease. Yet, I knew these were not the only things that made her beautiful to my cold eyes…it was…every little odd thing about her.

Perhaps it was also this sunset that had caused her to look at me differently the other day… I thought. It made it possible for my demon eyes to heed beauty this strange way… this very strange way.

Everything seemed to have paused for a while…until I was reminded of who I was, and what was expected of me...

A sharp sting pierced into my chest, my throat tightened, and suddenly I felt cold as I began to realize that I wasn't supposed to think of her this way. I started to draw an invisible line between us as the air swept the ground, making the bed of short grass around ripple, the ends of our hair being carried gently. Her smile had long thinned into a line as she kept her stares at the sun, and it seemed to me that behind her usual cheerful facade, she's carrying pain that was bigger than what lay beyond the horizon in front of us.

Slowly, she turned her head back to me, and I remained locked inside my thoughts. I failed to even realize that she had continued to walk towards me, dashing the imaginary line that I had drawn. Then her footsteps stopped, I was standing there composedly, though frozen really, as she stood by my right. Now that she was within the reach of my fingertips, her sweet scent began to envelop me once more.

The beguiled look in her eyes was clearer now. It confused me. But I could only validate so much of what I had seen earlier, now that she was so close to me… _She's beautiful—_ something I would never be able to admit openly, in the name of my demon pride.

Those kids ran around us as they chased one another, but neither of us seemed to have noticed them. I don't even think she or I cared if anyone could see us in that gaze. Perhaps, there was really nothing wrong with that moment, we were just staring at each other… _for long_. It bemused me how confident she was to even abridge the distance between us this way, as if crossing from her world to mine was too easy.

She raised her hand and reached for me. I flustered in an instant but had managed to keep still as I anticipated her touch. Her eyes moved to the same direction as her hand, and I felt a wave of electricity surging from my head down to my whole body as I felt her hand lightly touched my hair. When she pulled her hand away, I saw a petal she was holding by her fingertips. My eyes narrowed cluelessly. I stared at it and it dawned to me that it was from a sakura blossom. "Is it the same tree?" she asked incredulously before I was even able to look back in her eyes.

When I raised my gaze, I saw a surprised look at her face, and even I was flabbergasted. I know what tree she was referring to. "I have never heard of a sakura tree still blossoming this late…it's mid-summer," her eyes flickered with amazement, the sadness I had seen earlier just miraculously vanished. It took time before I was able to completely make sense out of it. And now as my eyes fell back on the blossom, I remembered the tree looked strange earlier this morning when I visited it in the forest. Yet, I wasn't able to realize myself then that it was not supposed to grow flowers this late.

"Do you go there often?" she asked, it woke me up from my thoughts. I looked back at her with disconcertment, but she looked back at the petal as she lowered down her hand. "I want to see it…but going back in that forest is too dangerous for me." Her smile faded but it stayed in her eyes…I could unreasonably think she was shallow for being too concerned about such an insignificant thing. Yet I guess, she was really just capable of appreciation more than I could possibly have.

She kept the petal in her pocket and I wondered why. When she looked back at me, she gave me this smile that lifted her cheeks. Innocence emblazed her features, and I could feel that she was greatly excited to have learned of this strange phenomena. She was living with faultfinding people, deaths and incurable diseases all around her, and this one simple thing was able to uplift her and distract her from those. Then I realized—I could not blame her.

When the kids stopped running around just a few steps away from us, it caught her attention. They had seen something on the grass not far away. When the air blew again, I noticed that it was a wildflower that had captured their interest. I didn't know what it was called, not that I hadn't seen one before, I just hardly cared. The children were bickering if they'd pick it or not. I guess it was too beautiful to their eyes to just leave it behind unnoticed.

The miko left me alone to approach them. I thought maybe she would ask them to go home since the sun had almost completely set, more than a half of it had already sunk deep into the horizon. They stirred upon seeing her drawing closer, as if they were caught doing something worth a punishment. She asked them nicely, and it eased their nervousness. They told her that one of them wanted to pick the flower and bring it home.

My eyes fell on it and I tried to look as closely as I could. At first, since their shadows on the ground were almost obscuring my view, I thought it wasn't worth any—it was too plain. But as I continued to stare at it, I realized that it was beautiful. The shape of its petals were peculiar to it, the color faded from magenta to a soft shade of pink from the center to the tip of the petals. It had this appeal that looked so exclusive to it.

"Do you really like it that much?" she asked the small girl. She just nodded timidly, yet I could imagine her wagging her tail, screaming yes. "You love it?" The child nodded once more. These children were very different from Rin. If she had seen something she liked, she'd pick or take it with her without second thoughts.

The miko bent over and stroked her hair. "If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love." She glanced at it briefly then looked back at the small girl. "So if you love a flower, let it be." It hit me so hard, and bit on my skin like cold water. It bothered me, and I had not a clue why.

There was a pause, and I thought she's supposed to say some more but then I guess she decided it would be too much for the kids. The way she spoke of those words felt like she could recite the exact same words anytime, as if by heart. The face of the child lighted up as though she was able to empathize with the very words themselves. It touched the hearts of the rest; it inspired them. And it looked like they would carry them in their sleep.

Once they had gone, she walked back to me. The sun had already gone, and the sky had remained red at where it used to be. The damp air brushing our skin was now colder. She stopped again just right beside me before she twisted her body to follow the children with her eyes. "Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation…" she said the words she left hanging. It left an impression in me, and it kept ringing in my head as I continued to stare at her profile.

For some reason, that kiss I had witnessed before between her and my brother flashed back in my head as I relived the words over and over. "I just read that somewhere." She chuckled. When she turned back at me, I looked away, feigning disinterest, and fixed my eyes at the sky. Crimson color was scattered here and there across the horizon, only a few clouds were left. She breathed deeply, "I guess that tree is really special…" she resumed the conversation from earlier.

Actually, it was hardly a conversation for I never said a word back. "...sakura trees are everywhere, but the first time I saw that lonely tree in that clearing, I knew it has something special in it. But I guess, it would be the first and last. I don't want to worry Inuyasha and be a burden. If only it wasn't too dangerous for me to go there alone, I would," she continued. The first time…I mulled over it. It was probably the time when she had found me soaked in my own blood.

I let out a deep breath, from the corners of my eyes I knew she started to stare at the same direction. I was hesitant to say the words that I was able to form in my head while she was talking. But then, I remembered how her face lighted up when she had learned about the petal of sakura. "I'll be there tomorrow in the afternoon," I said plainly. I didn't make it sound like it had anything to do with her, in fact, I wasn't sure what I was trying to imply.

She turned her head at me in a surprised manner. Her lips parted. I turned my head slightly to her, and gave her an icy stare. From her face, I understood that she was able to catch what my words had implied before I did myself. It instantly made me feel uneasy.

It didn't take long before I scolded myself for saying what I had and thinking what I was. I pulled my eyes away and turned my back at her gracefully. She didn't say a word, or maybe, she wasn't able to for I had started to walk away. Embarrassment started to eat me as I was dragging my boots…so then I leaped into the air and cut through the wind as I flew away as fast as the light. _'If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be.'_ Her words were coming back to me nonstop.

I headed to the west far away from that region, but decided to land on a forest near my turf instead of going straight into my fortress. _What had ever gotten in me…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Thank you so much for reading! Reviews/comments are much welcomed. I want to know if you liked it so far. We still have a long way to go, the story is still unfolding. Hope to hear from you.
> 
> I can't wait to upload the rest of the story.
> 
> Please do know that I appreciate you leaving me kudos, never fails to make me smile.
> 
> You can also find this story on FFN:  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11788845/1/Price-of-Betrayal


	6. Footsteps

> "I was in such a delicate position, where she's hurting, and I just sat down there, lost and feeling useless. I strongly felt the need to do something, but I had no idea." — _Sesshomaru_

* * *

  **Chapter 5**

"Footsteps"

My footsteps were slow and heavy, as I was approaching the lonely sakura tree. Each breath I'd take was shallow and spaced far in between. At first, I had almost changed my mind, uncertain about my real intentions, anxious about not knowing exactly what I was trying to do. But then, I wanted to be true to my words—I told her I'd be here, _so here I am._

I stopped just right in front of the tree, raising my head so I could stare at its blossoms. The sun's rays were like leaning pillars as they passed through between the flowers and leaves. Would she come? I kept asking myself. I wondered why it mattered so much, and even the previous night felt longer than usual as I restlessly awaited this day to come.

Birds were flying in the clearing, and would perch at the forking twigs of the tree. I wondered what had caused this tree to blossom in the midst of summer. It looked like it's trapped in a dream and refused to wake up from it, losing track of time, unaware that spring had long passed. But then, it felt as if it's doing it for a purpose.

The cool breeze blew gently against me, ushering the sweet sakura scent to my nose. I stepped closer and rested my hand on its bark. And suddenly upon my touch, it sent chills all over me, as if the tree itself was telling me something beyond my understanding. It mystified me, and for a moment, I feared what the future might be holding. It was very unlikely that a daiyoukai would fear, nor consider it, but I had never felt so uneasy.

Time passed, and there's still not a sign of her. My eyes narrowed, twitching my hand on its bark, slowly being convinced of my foolishness. She wouldn't come, I told myself. I wasn't really expecting much; there were so many things to do in the village, and she might not have the time to spare. But then, thinking how much I battled so hard with my demon pride last night, I couldn't help but grit my teeth.

I closed my eyes. A mix of fury and disappointment was eating me.

Before I went here, I had asked Royakan, the wolf demon of hell, guardian of the forest, to ensure that no demon would be lurking around and pose threat. And at this point, I was utterly convinced of how silly were my actions. Damn it. I began condemning myself for even considering all these disgraceful, foolish things.

I was almost convinced to turn away... until my ears caught some noise from afar—footsteps against the grass and earth. My eyes snapped open. I held my breath and swallowed hard as it dawned on me that I wasn't just imagining it. But instantly, I filled myself with cautious doubts.

My head turned hesitantly to that direction. The soft breeze was shaking the trees around me, sakura blossoms were in the air. My breathing was so shallow as my eyes were impatiently anticipating something.

Soon, she emerged from the woods.

My heart immediately stopped at the sight of her... and even by then, I still couldn't believe that she came.

Her steps paused briefly, as I was frozen on my feet. A shy smile surfaced upon her lips, and I could see just how relieved she was that I was there. I immediately pursed my lips at that, for I still hadn't gotten over my fury.

She brought a cloth to her face and wiped her sweat. Then her eyes moved to the tree. Instantly, her face lighted up with amazement. She blinked a number of times as her smile gradually swelled into a big grin. Then she looked back at me to as if search my eyes for any conviction that the tree was really there, blossoming and full of life.

I couldn't help but see how beautiful she was at this moment... the innocent, almost ignorant look in her amazed eyes could easily annoy the demon in me, but then I'd choose this any day over her sad gaze. Against my will, my rage faltered helplessly by itself. My chest was instantly filled with strange feelings as I was staring at her.

She began to take her small steps closer... her smile weakened but it's still there, devoid of any pretense. The air swept the leaves that had fluttered on the ground, as if the forest had felt the need to clear her path towards me. Her untied ebony locks and clothing were also being blown gently as she was drawing closer, making that moment more enthralling than it already was.

There was something in the way the birds were chirping this time, even the trees had suddenly seemed to come alive. Perhaps, even nature could not believe how easy it was for her to close the distance between two worlds in that moment.

I hardly breathed until she stopped just a step away. My hand was still resting on the bark of the sakura tree as I was staring at her eyes, as if I needed it for support.

It was hard to tell if she was confused or worried, there was suddenly this nervous look in the way she's staring back at me. It made me conscious of my appearance. "What?" I asked, I hardened my face.

Surprisingly, she burst into laughter. It amused me why, I looked away from her and frowned. "Sorry…" she said, catching up with her breath. I gave her a hard glance then looked away again, scowling. She continued to giggle. "You were not moving… I was kind of worried," she added briefly.

My lips twitched, it annoyed me. But at the same time, hearing her laughter had eased my restlessness effortlessly, though my face was only showing my annoyance very well.

There was a brief, awkward pause until I decided to sit down beside the tree. For long, she just remained standing there, her gaze was fixed on its foliage above our heads. Her lips were slightly parted, with her hands positioned in such a way to catch the falling blossoms. I was just discreetly watching her all the while, but I tried to look as uninterested as I could.

Just like how she looked yesterday, she radiated a glow so captivating, that I had almost found it impossible to look away. A childish smile was etched on her lips as she continued to admire this lonely tree, "It's surreal…" she whispered, her voice seemed to have summoned the brisk air, bringing her long locks on her face until it fell on her shoulders. Her sweet jasmine scent was carried to my nose, and I couldn't help but admit how intoxicating it was.

She stayed that way until her expression became doleful, as if something had suddenly crossed her mind. Only then did I notice the dark circles below her eyes.

Then she sat beside me... and let out a long sigh. I understood it without trying.

Here beneath the comforting shade of this lonely tree in the middle of this forest, I thought she's far away from those people… from the things that were causing her sorrows.

We were quiet for a long time. If not for the birds which were tirelessly trying to uplift the mood around us, I could've scolded her for making everything feel melancholic in a snap.

I cleared my throat noisily, and it broke our silence. Jaken does this to brave himself before he opens his mouth to say something he thinks I might not like; I never thought I'd ever have the need to copy him. She turned her head towards me. I really had nothing to say, but I was expecting her to at least say a word. But for a long time—she didn't. Instantly, I felt foolish.

She stared blankly into the distance. When I would glance at her profile, as the shadows of the leaves above us were dancing on her, I thought she was holding back some tears. "I won't mind," I said offhandedly. She looked at me quickly, slightly lost. Even myself got confused of my words. But I think she was able to catch it.

And that's when tears began to well up in her eyes. I gazed at her sideways, in the most uninterested way possible. A lump in my throat manifested itself upon seeing her that way. She was still holding it back, not letting a single drop escape her eyes while she's looking at me intensely, as if she had never felt so understood.

I looked away and didn't say anything else. When she averted her gaze, she drew her knees closer to herself. "No, I'm not gonna cry. I don't want to annoy you."

It struck me when she had managed to say that. She forced her tears back and took a deep breath. "You already are," I said apathetically. She paused and looked back at me in a surprised manner. Then she chuckled. It puzzled me, and caused me to form a moue. I wondered why it was so easy for me to make her laugh this way without trying. Yet, it didn't feel wrong really.

She stared at me for a while before she opened her mouth again, "Thank you." It passed her lips as soft as the breeze.

I held my breath briefly upon hearing that. Then I looked into her eyes, inquiringly. I didn't realize we were closer than it had initially seemed. She was staring meaningfully back at me, her eyes would stutter as she couldn't contain her emotions. "For what?" I asked uninterestedly, then looked away immediately after that.

"For being here," she said. "...with me."

Something seemed to have jabbed into my heart. It felt like I was set on fire, and I didn't know what to say for a moment. I avoided looking back into those eyes, cautious not to give my thoughts away. "I am not here to be with you," I said, trying to sound convincing, but her silent laughter was telling me that I failed.

"Regardless of your reason… I am still glad to spend time with you."

It embarrassed me greatly, as if it was a forbidden thing to hear. "Do you still hate me for helping you before?" she rested her head on her knees, with her eyes still boring on my skin. I wondered why she kept looking at me this way, as if she didn't want to miss any slight display of reaction from my emotionless face.

"I don't acknowledge that as a help," I forced the words out, taking a shallow breath then held it.

"Is that a yes?"

It took me a while… intending not to really answer back, but I could feel her mood was starting to sink as she was awaiting my answer. "No," I said plainly.

She raised her head, her mouth swelled into a wide grin accompanied by a faint gasp. It took her a brief moment before she said something, "I'm glad..." Then there was a silent giggle. She looked away again still carrying that big smile on her face. It astonished me how it meant so much to her. A part of me still resented her, but I chose to leave it at that.

Then we were reduced into a long silence again.

Suddenly, the clearing became filled with colorful flying insects.

"A number of people have died this morning," she said out of nowhere. I glanced at her profile and saw her bland expression. I was slightly baffled by it, but I could tell that she'd been carrying it in her chest.

"The previous storms had caused mosquitos to breed rapidly… more people are still dying." I hardly had a clue what kind of demons were those, and Jaken had never mentioned them to me ever attacking the village, but I listened intently. "There's just no cure for it." She sighed.

Her gaze fell on the grass in front of her. Thinning her lips subtly as the corners of it began to droop. It looked as though she was in the verge of crying. "I had to watch as they took their last breath, knowing for sure that later their loved ones would look into my eyes with disdain." It had been difficult for me to take in air upon seeing her that way. I had seen this look on her face many times, and it never failed to have this effect on me.

"For days I knew they were going to die soon. I spent...sleepless nights...thinking about them...then get up early in the morning to check on them," she kept twitching her fingers, clawing lightly on her trousers from time to time.

"Their families...they had high hopes, but I crushed them. I was...too weak...to tell them of what I knew." There was a lot of hesitance in her speech, as though the words were painting the scenes in her head, haunting her being. "But you know, even if I tell them about it, they'd still blame me either way. Because I have no excuse for being useless."

I continued to stare at those fingers, and they started to irritate me. It was as if I wanted to hold that hand and keep it from twitching. I scolded myself mentally for even entertaining it in my thoughts.  
Clouds shaded the ground from the sun briefly. And it seemed she had waited for them to pass before she started again. "I guess losing a loved one causes too much pain, that some people needed someone... something... to blame," she continued.

It seemed to me that she's telling these things for the first time, and I found it a mystery why it had to be with me. As if I was the only one who could understand. I set my cold eyes on a distance, as I began to feel her words growing in me. It reminded me of a remote feeling from a distant memory.

"I am trying…" her voice cracked. "Every day I try to learn new things that I hardly understand; memorize the names of different herbs I hardly care about... I am trying hard… so hard."

Every word of hers sent nibbling pains in my chest, which made me wonder just how much of herself had grown in me ever since the day that she laid her hands on me.

"I am not a doctor..." she said weakly. I turned my head back at her, and she did too, looking straight into my eyes rigidly, to as if ensure that I understood well. "I was just only able to finish highschool back home… I know nothing…" It was almost a whisper.

My eyes narrowed when I didn't understand the words completely. But we kept our eyes at each other. I was looking at a full-grown woman, but in that moment, I saw nothing but a horror-struck child who was forced to grow up and assume responsibility.

I straightened up and looked at the skies, watching the clouds as they changed forms slowly. I mulled over those words, and wondered if she's too stupid to realize the obvious. "You didn't need to do any of those," I finally broke my silence. My words were seasoned with conviction as they came out.

It took time before she answered; I glanced at her, squinting my eyes as I awaited her to talk.

She just shook her head meekly. "I have to find my place here..." was all that she was able to say. I knew so well the reason behind all these, and it's making me frown so bad, clenching my jaws bitterly as I was hating her foolishness. But then, I didn't say a word back.

Time wore down, and she's still restraining her tears. "I miss home…" she uttered softly. There were so much pains in those words, that I could not stand it.

Sakuras had stopped fluttering, the colorful insects were gone, but birds would still be seen flying across the skies in flocks.

I was in such a delicate position, where she's hurting, and I just sat down there, lost and feeling useless. I strongly felt the need to do something, but I had no idea.

"Then go back home," I said, pointing out again the obvious. My voice was cold as usual, though I tried to sound a little bit empathetic.

"I can't... I can't leave him," she answered under her breath.

My lips twitched. I knew she was going to say that. There's really nothing much to expect from this human girl, everything she did was always about him, as if she had not a life of her own. I gritted my teeth ferociously for her stupidity. "He needs me," she added.

I cringed and my lips pursed. "You need him," I corrected her.

She looked at me intensely as if scrutinizing my words. And I could feel that she's convinced how ignorant I was. It irritated me, but I kept my eyes elsewhere, maintaining an authoritative demeanor. "I love him," she said, in a way as if to correct me, too.

It annoyed me further. "Then blame no one but yourself for your sufferings," I bit out, sounding harsher than what I was intending, but I had to say it.

"Life is full of sufferings…" she turned her gaze away and stared at the bed of grass in front of us. Small frogs were jumping here and there across the clearing, as the skies were starting to dim. "...it's whom you spend life with that makes things worth it."

I looked at her, completely absorbed and perplexed by her words. It's bemusing that she viewed the world in that light with her human eyes. I had always thought her to be optimistic, but I guess the painful things that were surrounding her had helped shape her opinions in such a strange way.

The sun was beginning to set behind us, casting the shadow of the tree against the ground. The air was still and quiet, but it's getting cooler. Then I heard a noise. She darted her eyes at me with embarrassment, then laughed at herself. I narrowed my eyes in turn and looked away. "Go home and eat," I said reluctantly, as if the words refused to escape my throat. I could not even believe they came out from my mouth.

She stood up and dusted her trousers. "Right. Let's watch the sunset," she said before looking at me for acknowledgement. It caught me off-guard so I did not respond. She walked towards the opposite side of the tree and watched the sun as it set from there, but I stayed collected on my seat. "Onii-san!" I saw from her slender shadow on the ground that she had turned slightly to my direction.

I couldn't help but think that Inuyasha was with her everyday, but this girl had always felt alone. I didn't even think Inuyasha knew the things that she had just confessed to me.

I took a deep breath and roused. Then paused for a moment. After so much struggling, I resolved to walk towards her on the other side. I had never let a human draw as close to me this way, and influence my actions. In fact, not even anyone. Only her.

From the corner of my eyes, I would glance at her from time to time, as the sunlight glowed on her skin. She smiled at me, and I pretended that I wasn't looking. Her mood was very erratic, changing quickly in a blink of an eye. I couldn't say I understood this part of her, but I guess it's better this way than to forever senselessly dwell in tears.

It puzzled me how badly I desired this look on her face, as if my days would no longer be complete without it. But then, I had no idea how to keep her this way, or keep her pains from haunting her.

I was taller than her, so the sun had to sink deeper into the horizon to color my face as we stood beneath the tree. She just continued to stare at me, and I thought she had stopped breathing... "You are so beautiful..." she whispered softly, as though she was just thinking out loud. I glanced at her discreetly and saw her turning her head away, setting her eyes on the ground before her feet, placing her fist on her chest as if stunned by her own words.

It struck me that we think of each other the same way. I slightly carried my chin higher and thinned my lips to conceal my uneasiness. In that moment, it seemed we had this connection that had always been there for hundreds of years, even way before her birth. Suddenly, I realized how young she was... it usually didn't matter, but it amused me how I felt like I had waited for this day for centuries.

We stood there for a while just like how we did yesterday, in front of the setting sun. The air began to move again, it's damp and cold. Trees rustled noisily, but I couldn't seem to pay attention to anything else but to this girl standing inches away from me.

I recalled the painful things she had confided to me, though I resented her for them, I knew after this day with her, everything would completely change. She had shared to me a part of her that I knew she would never share to anyone else, and somehow, it had touched the demon in me...

* * *

After the sun had set, we walked back to the village. I was keeping distance from her, just tailing behind her back a number of steps away. She stopped and faced me. "Onii-san!" It made me pause and I gave her a hard look. "I am glad to be walking home with you," her hand was at the corner of her lips. It embarrassed me, for it felt like the whole forest had heard it.

I frowned at her and avoided her gaze. "We are not," I answered askance, as if denying an accusation.

Then I heard her chuckling. " _Eh_...then what?" she pressed.

I pursed my lips at her childish persistence. But then, I knew she wouldn't let her question go unanswered. "You just happened to be on my way. Keep going," I said, beginning to stride forward again. But she remained standing there, grinning at me, holding back her laughter.

She only resumed walking once I had already walked past her. She ran to keep up, still laughing at me inwardly. I paused. It confused her. "Stop mocking me," I warned her, though I wasn't being serious. I just felt the need to say something while we were walking together back to the village. It was getting darker, the air whirling between the trees was getting stronger and colder.

"I am not. I am just happy. Can't you tell?" she answered. It stunned me but my eyes had remained cold. Then we began walking again.

Her steps were making so much noise against the grass, as opposed to my silent gait. "Will you slow down?" she asked, still sounding blissful. I darted a glance at her.

"I am not really in a hurry, and it's hard to keep up with you," she added. But I did not heed her words. It was getting dark, and I knew she was hungry. And I remembered what Jaken had said, _'That Kagome must be pregnant.'_ Hearing that in my head made me feel irritated for some reason. It confused me why, but I soon shrugged it off.

"No one said you have to keep up," I said, knitting my brows. She slowed down upon hearing that. And it baffled me. It made me frantic… Slowly, I had found myself slowing down as I could feel that she's being left behind. Once we were walking again in the same pace, she giggled again. I ignored it this time, for I didn't really want her to walk behind me, remembering what had happened before when she was attacked by a female dog daiyoukai.

With that crossing my mind, I remembered that night when I came to save her. But my stupid brother had come, too, looking for her. "He would be looking for you…" I had found myself saying casually.

It took a moment before she responded back. "He usually spends time in the shrine until it's completely dark…"

My eyes narrowed upon grasping her words. "You hate him," I said with a slight irritation and emphasis.

She looked at my profile and our pace slowed down even more. "No… I understand Inuyasha…" there was a pause. "...you only hate what you don't understand." Then she swallowed and set her eyes straightly on our path.

It seemed those last words were aimed at me. I pressed my lips into a line but kept my silence.

Then we became quiet.

We were almost out of the woods when she began again. "How could I hate him for loving someone..." she spoke silently, as if the words were hurting her in a way. I squinted my eyes at her briefly, unsure for a moment of what she's talking about. "...not everyone knows how to love. And Inuyasha has a big heart. More than enough for me and her. I can't tell him to stop loving somebody, when I can't tell myself the same."

Then I understood who she was referring to. But it confused me, for I was referring to my worthless brother spending most of his time away, not anything else. I hardly understood how human affairs worked, and it was the least of my concerns. But as we continued to walk, I started to realize more that Inuyasha had found himself someone who's equally foolish to stay by his side against all odds.

We continued to walk until only our slow steps and the screeches of insects could be heard. The moon was peeking between the trees, illuminating our path.

Once we got at the outskirts of their human village, I stopped. It took her a few more steps before she noticed it. She immediately turned to face me. We stared at each other for long, but it had been hard for me to fathom what her eyes were saying. A few more moments and then she gave me a weak smile. It was as if she regretted coming back here, in this human village. I wanted to step forward and stay a little bit longer, but I didn't.

My nose picked up the scent of incense coming from the village, but I didn't bother myself about for what it was. There's this strange sinking feeling that's consuming me and my thoughts, seeing her standing timidly right there several steps away.

"I shall see you again tomorrow?" finally she said it.

My heart stopped as I tried to grasp the words, and what they meant to me. I hesitated for a moment. Her words from yesterday played back in my head, _'If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be.'_ At that point, I wasn't sure why it kept playing in my head like a warning.

She was awaiting my response, and I twitched my hand discreetly, "If you please," I said coldly, almost anxious that I did. But, I thought they sounded right as they came out.

That and her face lighted up. The evening was cold but I felt like melting. I pulled my eyes away with resentment until she turned away from me and walked briskly towards the house of the old miko where she would probably wait for Inuyasha.

As soon as she was gone, I felt foolish… running what had passed this afternoon in my head, I began scolding myself. But then, there's just simply no turning back.

I leaped into the air and went to the west, intending to walk around the forest near my turf. I guess, I'd spend the night again waiting for the next day to come, just like how the previous night had gone.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update by end of May.
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, thank you so much for reading! We still have a long way to go, the story is still unfolding. Let me know how you find it through the comment section below.
> 
> Please do know that every kudos never fails to make me smile. All's worth it.
> 
>  
> 
> You can also find this story on FFN:  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11788845/1/Price-of-Betrayal
> 
> PS: I accidentally deleted Chapter 5 and had to re-upload. Old comments were gone. Sorry.


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